Here is Mary's story that she shared at a retreat she and Leanne attended together for the past two years:
A dear friend of mine and a Thirsty Heart Sister, Leanne White Miller, lost her
battle with breast cancer on May 20, 2014.
She did, however, win the most important race of her life. She is now fully healed and celebrating in
the arms of her Heavenly father.
I
have a special gift to give in memory of her.
Some of you may have remembered that she gave a scripture board as her
gift in the gift exchange last year. I
think we all wanted one! I know I did
anyway. Well, we made one for each of
you this year….when I say we, I am referring to the hands of Leanne’s mom,
Fran, Leanne’s sisters Aimee and Katie, myself, Barb and Kristin Jackson. The scriptures are from Leanne’s
computer. Fran had prints made for each
of you. This retreat was a highlight for
Leanne and Fran was happy to do it.
If
you were ever in Leanne’s kitchen you’d see these scriptures taped to her
kitchen cabinets. They helped get her
through each day. She made “taking her
thoughts captive” a goal, and if you knew Leanne, she fought hard after her
goals.
Aimee
wrote on the bottom of the boards “God’s got this”. It is a mantra her family recites again and
again. Leanne went into the hospital on
a Saturday and died the following Tuesday.
On Sunday night she could tell by her families faces that they knew
something she didn’t, so she asked them……when she learned that her body was
giving up she said to her family “God’s Got This, It will be okay.” Her faith was unwavering. Not to say she wasn’t scared, mad, anxious
and worried a lot, but God met her at those times and filled her. She called the special things God did for
her, “God Hugs”.
I
first met Leanne when we moved next door to her family in 2001. She was busy with high school so I never knew
her well then. I made jewelry for her
wedding, saw her married and was kept abreast of her life through her mom, my
friend and mentor. In October 2011
Leanne was diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. She and her husband moved to the cities for
better medical care and that’s when I got to know her well and was privileged
to watch God work in her life.
I
took care of her little boy, Leo (who was born in January of 2012), on
Wednesday mornings so she could go to bible study and often for doctor’s
appointments and treatments. That’s when
our friendship started. We spent time
together nearly every week. I thought
of her as a sweet sister but she would refer to me as a special aunt (I forget
how old I amJ).
Through
it all, her desire was for God to be glorified.
He was….She was always eager to share God’s tangible presence in her
life. I’m struggling now as I keep
writing all the things she did that were so inspiring to me but I know she
would want me to share how inspiring God is ……so here’s my try:
- I saw God meet her needs daily
- I saw God calm her through prayer, and music and scripture and people and worship and His creation
- I experienced God waking me a night to pray and the next day finding that it was a really hard night for her.
- I saw God answer her little prayers, sweet hugs,
- I saw a women bathed in God’s love – God kept her secure in His love for her
- I saw a woman who experienced God’s presence so you could SEE it on her face and in her. He showed her that He is completely trustworthy and when Satan tried to tell her otherwise, she fought him off
- In the midst of her battle God gave her peace and joy, so much joy
- I saw people come to faith through her life and her blog which openly shared her journey – the good and the hard
- I saw a family torn by grief and bonded through faith
- I saw God give her the ability to see beyond her circumstances and equip her to give abundantly
- I saw God teach me so much about how intimate he can be, truly intimate, I saw it in her but I know I haven’t experienced it fully – not like she did – I was a little jealous for it
- I saw God equip her to live each day fully – she trusted God’s provision
- God continues to give her family comfort in knowing that their loss was not for nothing. He brought many people to faith through her. They still receive notes of thanks and hear stories of how her faith ministered to someone, someone they’ve never met.
- And they have the gift of Leo. He’s three now and a spitfire and a joy
After
Leanne died, her family found prayer journals she had kept since college. They have been a sweet balm for them to read.
She began each with “Dear God” and
ended each with her signature “Leanne Joy”.
I
will share a little of her heart with you from one I was privileged hold onto
for awhile – this was hers in the midst of her battle:
- The day of her first diagnosis, Oct. 11, 2011, she wrote – “Father thank you that you are going to walk us through this. Thank you that this is your plan and that you know exactly how it will all work out. Father I am not strong enough to do this on my own and I thank you for the promise that you will never leave me and also for the people you have provided to walk this journey with us. Lord you know what we need and you will give us just that. Take away my fears father and fill those places with your grace and your mercy. Do not let the devil have any part of my mind. Hold us as we process this and let us look to you because only you can provide what we need. Give the doctors wisdom and guidance. Let his be part of my story and may I use it to glorify you. Father I give it all to you. You have the plan and I trust you with everything I am and everything I know.”
- When waiting for test results she wrote – “I trust you and I know how big you are and I pray that you would let be remember that you are in control. Calm my fears. Take away my anxiety. Hold me and let me shine your light through whatever the results may bring. God I am so thankful for you and the fact that I know you. Thank you for choosing me and loving me and carrying me through this. You have the best plan. You are bigger than all of this and I give it to you. You are the only one who can handle it.”
- Another sweet note to our Lord – “God you are so great. I am overwhelmed by your love for me. I am in awe of your ability to provide at just the right minute. I am so thankful! I praise you. I worship you. I rest in your never failing, never ending, loving embrace.
- Her journal was peppered with prayers for others. If you gave her something to pray for, she did.
- On May 5, 2014, she wrote, “ People are so quick to give us credit and I pray that we would always be very quick to point it back to you. God we have such a sweet walk and a sweet relationship. I pray that as we continue this journey that I would always remain right her on your lap in the biggest squeeze with my arms around your neck. I pray that I would not be tempted to wander. That my eyes, would be ever focused on you and that I would remember what it says in Deuteronomy 8:3. That I would remember that we don’t live on bread alone but rather we live on every word that comes from your mouth.
On
the day Leanne went to be with the Lord I received a text from a friend who was
in a support group for women with, and survivors of, breast cancer. She said, “the comfort club will be praying
for Leanne from 4:30 -5:00. Join us
wherever you are.” I learned, shortly
after 5:00 that Leanne was in the Lords embrace at about 4:45. She was in Ryan’s, her hubby’s, arms as he
encouraged her to run to Jesus.
Fran
said that after she took her last breath, she saw a smile on Leanne’s face and
a tear down her cheek.
Ryan
and Leo moved in with Fran and Chris next door to me. They are starting to think of setting out on
their own. It’s been a joy and a comfort
to be together and I get to see Leo lots.
The other morning he said, “Miss Mary, are you pregnant”. Ryan was mortified :) I laughed.
Pray
for Leo. He really misses his mom and
still has trouble sleeping. It’s been a
hard journey for all but God has been more than faithful.
Pray
for the whole White family as they continue to grieve and miss their daughter,
wife, sister, aunt and sweet momma.
I
obviously could go on and on and I am prayerful that I haven’t forgotten
anything God would want you to know.
Love
you all,
Mary
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