Why?
I cannot find a rational answer that makes any sense. I know "...all things work together for the good of those who love God..." (Romans 8:28) But good would probably not be the word I would use to describe day to day life around here. So, in the midst of the pain, sadness, frustration, and grief the question of "Why?" still remains. Thankfully, God's definition of good and mine are not exactly the same :)
Grief Share is an incredible organization which provides support to those who are grieving. One service they provide are daily emails to encourage those throughout the grieving process. The subject of my email one day was: What To Do With The Why's ...
“What do you do with the whys?” asks Kay Arthur after her husband committed suicide. She answers, “You have to lay them at the feet of Omniscience and, by faith, leave them there and say, ‘If You want to show me why, God, fine. If not, I’m going to cling to who You are and what You promise.’ When you’re asking why, and you’re in the dark, and you don’t have any reasons, you are to cling to Him in hope. He is the God of all hope. The thing that you have to realize is you are here for a much larger purpose than you realize.”
God has never promised ease in this life. In fact, hardship and trouble are actually promised. "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33) So, in the face of these hardships, I am challenged to lay the question of "Why?" at the feet of Jesus and leave it there. I will replace it with a prayer asking God to continue to show me who He is and what He promises.
As many of you know, our grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a successful mastectomy. She is now cancer free! At the time I felt like shouting at God and asking Him "Are you kidding me? Haven't we had enough?" But once again God reminded us that He is faithful and sovereign over all areas of our lives. Well, we are about to enter the trenches again. And to be brutally honest, I feel like shouting at the top of my lungs again. But instead, we will challenge each other to lay the Why? at the feet of Jesus and leave it there. We will replace it with a reminder from Leanne that #God'sGotThis.
Please be praying for us. Here are some specifics:
- Good, restful sleep for Leo
- Wisdom for Dr's
- Peace for our family
We'll update with some more info when the time is right.
2 comments:
I love this Katie. Thanks for the reminder that in this world we WILL have trouble. Hugs friend!!
This is a very important thought to express and a great question to wrestle with! I'm glad you all are bravely facing it, even though it's hard.
The "why's" are hard because you know there may be no answer ever for that specific question. Why did she get sick? Why was it cancer? Why did it come back? Why have we lost her so soon? Why do we have to live without her? And why are we going through it again?
Very shortly after my dad passed, I heard a message on Job that had a point which struck me hard. Job was "blameless" (not sinless) and lead a good life with pretty good theology. He trusted God and defended his faith consistently, though not always perfectly, when physical and spiritual and relational battles waged during his trial. The thing was, and this brought me both comfort and frustration, is that Job never learned why he went through those trials.
Living with the "why" has been easier as time goes on, but it still has its tough moments or days. God is faithful and will walk beside you even if you don't feel it. Hurl the "why's" at his feet indeed, sob them and stomp them and oversleep them as needed. He will take them, and, in some way, will give you comfort despite whether or not you get answers. It's not "good" that you all have to go through this, but God makes his good in the midst of the darkest times.
I pray for the whole family, and I think about you all often. This is a hard time, and I have trust and hope and faith that God will bring you through it day-by-day.
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